When the Bible tells us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8), it means that love isn’t something we invented; it’s something we received. It’s not an accident, a weakness, or something to be ashamed of. Love begins in God, and because it comes from Him, it was never designed to be confusing, destructive, or unsafe enough to silence us or push us into secrecy.
Yet for many young people today, love, especially romantic love, can feel overwhelming and unsafe to talk about. Feelings arise, emotions grow with strength, affection develops fast, but fear quickly follows: Will I be judged? Will I be mocked? Will I be misunderstood? So many choose silence instead of conversation.
But Scripture says: “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18). That means safe love doesn’t silence you. Because if love drives us into fear and silence, something is already out of alignment.
In the Bible, love isn’t hidden or ridiculed. It’s often expressed openly and honestly. For instance, Isaac didn’t hide his affection for Rebekah. He openly loved her and the Bible plainly tells us that “he loved her and she became his comfort” (Genesis 24:67).
The same was the case for Jacob, as recorded in Genesis 29. He openly loved Rachel and served patiently for her. It wasn’t secretive, rushed, or driven by impulse, but by commitment and time. Even the Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of affection and desire, expressed with dignity and honour.
These examples remind us that feelings are not the problem. Silence is. They teach us something important, that love grows best in the light, not in secrecy.
Young people should be able to speak honestly about their feelings and emotions, that is, their attraction, affection, uncertainty, confusion, interest, etc., without being laughed at or shut down. Love shouldn’t be dismissed simply because someone is young, nor exaggerated into something it’s not.
A healthy Christian community is one where love isn’t a taboo, but a conversation to be had with wisdom, not avoided in fear. Where questions are welcomed, emotions are acknowledged, and conversations happen in the open, because listening is also an act of love.
If there are two things to take away from here, they are:
• Love is safe when it can be expressed and spoken.
• Love grows best in the light, not in secrecy.
Stay tuned for the next episode.
C. M. Okonkwo
www.cmokonkwo.com
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