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Sex is not LOVE!

Valentine is here again, and I think it is in order to say to you all, Happy Valentine.

I hope you are not disappointed that this greeting is coming from me? You shouldn’t! I have taken time in the past to explain that celebrating Valentine is not a sin, the truth is that this celebration itself has its root from Christianity, a religion whose foundation is love. Jn 3:16. Remember the Bible describes God as Love 1 Jn 4:8. If God is love, there is no way celebration of love can be a sin.

Do you know that Valentine Day originated as a Christian feast day? Yes, it is a Christian feast day honouring a martyr named Valentine. It is called Valentine’s Day and it is also known as Saint Valentine’s Day or the feast of Saint Valentine

However, the crux of the matter about Valentine celebration is that there is a lot of misinformation out there about St Valentine day, people have equated this to mean the day to commit all known atrocities in the books. Sadly, they have seen this day as a day for sex escapades in all forms and shades.

People have erroneously equated love to sex and if there is any wrong impression about Valentine I want you to get right this year is to let you know that Sex doesn’t mean Love.

Please don’t be deceived, Sex is not Love! Have you ever imagined that it is a common occurrence that when a man succeeds in sleeping with a lady they start to avoid such a lady? If sex is love, one would have ordinary think that after a lady allows a man to have sex with her, their love would become deeper but we all know this is never the case in most cases.

Even a look into the scripture clearly confirms the truth that sex doesn’t translate to love. In 2 Sam 13:1-19, Amnon son of David was presumably in love with her sister Tamar, the feeling was so strong that he became ill. One would ordinarily have thought that it was a true love but it became clear that the feeling the young man had towards his sister was never love. The only way he erroneously thought he could express the love was by having sex!

Anytime an opposite sex thinks the only way to express his/her love to you is by sex when you are not married as husband and wife, know very well that the feeling that person has towards you is not love but lust. Irrespective of how strong you think the feeling is, not minding how far the person chooses to go in expressing it, as long as what he/she is demanding from you is sex know that the feeling towards you is not love but lust.

I believe that the parents love is one of the most genuine you can see around, it is intense and true but which responsible parent express their love towards their children by having sex with them? The few parents who have sex with their children are termed animals. This is to let you know that sex outside the context of marriage is never an expression of love.

In the story of Amnon and Tamar, 2 Sam 13:1-19, the bible recorded that as soon as Amnon had sex with Tamar, he hated her more than the love he earlier had for her, what an irony!

In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!” 2 Sam 13:1, 15.

Can you imagine what played out here? The same man who could not sleep because of a presumed love for Tamar in verse 1, has now hated her in verse 15 after having sex with her.

Listen to this truth, that person who is asking you to express your love by having cheap sex with him/her (any sex outside marriage is a cheap sex) is only out to destroy your life. This same person said the same thing to a different person last year, don’t be the next causality.

Love is a beautiful thing when you remember that God Himself is Love but when you allow your emotion to go beserk and you choose to disobey God and yield your bodies to immorality, you will be very disappointed. The reason why the slang love is a scam appears to be gaining popularity is because majority of the people were never in love, what they went into was lusting and self gratification which always end up in pain and disappointment.

As we celebrate another Valentine this year, I admonish you to make up your mind never to be a victim of lust, don’t allow the opposite sex to take away your value and glory on the altar of ephemeral things that neither have any positive impact on your future nor add any eternal value to you.

If you are not married, don’t give in to cheap sex, it will hunt you and your soul forever. Don’t allow few minutes of pleasure plunge you into an eternal regret and sorrow. If that man or woman really loves you, he/she will wait for you until marriage. The bible even records that Love is Patient.

Sex outside marriage brings pain, disappointment, sickness and it will even set you against your maker. It might look enjoyable for the moment, but it has a lasting sorrow and it is like a bad dream that doesn’t go away

You need to know this, if you have fallen victim in the past and have gotten yourself involved in pre-marital sex, know for sure that God overlooks the time of ignorance! The Lord is not holding your sins of the past against you if you confess them to him and desist from living in sin going forward. Remember that God Himself is love and He will surely forgive your sins if you truly confess and repent of them all. Is 1:18.

To the married, I am sure you know that after showing your love in every way you know how to show it to your dear partner, sex is also a gift from God which is meant to be enjoyed in marriage. Hence, I say to you, ensure that you do the needful, this advice is coming from your friend and pastor.

Happy Valentine to you all but please don’t be deceived, Sex is not Love!

Your Friend & Pastor,
The Rev’d Engr Elijah Oladotun Oladeji.
Diocese of Lagos, Anglican Communion.

READ ALSO ⇒ Should Christians Celebrate Valentine’s Day?


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